"Man has free will to the extent that he knows who he is."

Since Spring Break I have been suffering through a slump, otherwise known as a crisis of motivation. Researching for my senior work proposal sapped all my intellectual energy and after the break I just stopped doing my work. As you can imagine, this had negative consequences, both in my academic and personal lives. Fortunately, the gravity of the situation finally sunk in. This happened largely due to a debilitating case of bronchitis, which forced me to stop drinking, needlessly socializing, and generally wasting time. Instead, for the past week I have done little besides sleep and try to read for class. This weekend I finally picked up (three weeks late) my copy of Spinoza's Ethics. I am presently still in the first section, "Of God", which is fascinating and less difficult, or so it seems, than I was led to believe. I'm not only reading it because I was supposed to for class, but also because I intend to write my final paper on God, as conceived by Spinoza (a conception which I find very attractive).

Yesterday, my professor emailed this to us, a lecture by Alan Watts pertaining to our classroom discussion, which you should find interesting regardless.

frown

Being sick is bullshit. I need a back rub and some nyquil pm.

I guess I'm, like, old now?

Birthday: the Twenty Third Installment









[All Photos by Luisa Opalesky]

nnnnnnnnnnkitteh cake

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

(It's my birthday in T-minus 50 minutes!)

Tonight I went looking for trouble.
I found it, but it was pretty boring.

bl[oo]ad[e]

I rediscovered how invigorating physical pain can be,
and how, when emotions are longed for but won't come,
an arrow of cuts pointing the way can open the flood gates,
and perhaps I'll sleep soundly tonight,
the sting of fresh wounds quietly calling out to me from under the covers.