Friday, June 27, 2008

Conversations with DJ, the first installment

Although the subject is new, we usually talk about equally irrelevant topic as you are about to read, and often they are offensive to anyone with delicate sensibilities.

DJ (4:55:51 PM): bong
bibliophile (4:56:00 PM): bing

Auto Response from DJ (4:56:00 PM): sleepx0rz
DJ (4:56:04 PM): bang
bibliophile (4:56:48 PM): beng
DJ (4:57:01 PM): i dont think that is a word
DJ (4:57:05 PM): simons 5, dayan 0
bibliophile (4:57:27 PM): it wasn't supposed to be, so i'm taking that point back
DJ (4:57:35 PM): fine with me
DJ (4:57:38 PM): simons 5, dayan -1
bibliophile (4:57:38 PM): but it probably is a word in some crazy foreign language
DJ (4:57:47 PM): it sounds vietnamese to me
bibliophile (4:58:45 PM): i feel if it were vietnamese it would be spelled bengh
bibliophile (4:58:53 PM): because there are hella h's in their language
DJ (4:59:06 PM): oh yeah
DJ (4:59:10 PM): theyre all named pham
DJ (4:59:19 PM): although phnom penh is in cambodia
DJ (4:59:32 PM): the h in phnos isnt even pronounced
DJ (4:59:39 PM): it isnt "fnom" it's "p'nom"
DJ (4:59:50 PM): h is the most useless fucking letter
DJ (5:00:09 PM): it barely ever makes a sound and when it does it sounds like a really old dog trying to jump on the couch
bibliophile (5:02:33 PM): haha
bibliophile (5:03:06 PM): i don't like h when it begins a word, like historical, because if you have to use "an" instead of "a"
bibliophile (5:03:15 PM): i'm like, uh, i don't think so, h is not a vowel
DJ (5:03:45 PM): yeah, it just feels vaguely, yet inexplicably guilty, like i did when i could see that preschool from the shower
DJ (5:04:27 PM): i remember in my 6th grade history class, there was a poster of george bush sr. and the word to a speech he had given, and it contained "an historic" and i remember decideing then and there that i hated him
bibliophile (5:04:44 PM): haha
bibliophile (5:04:50 PM): awesome
DJ (5:05:23 PM): H kind of is a vowel though
DJ (5:05:30 PM): it's definitely the vowelliest of the consonants
DJ (5:05:37 PM): except for maybe W
DJ (5:05:49 PM): W is quite light in the loafers
DJ (5:05:56 PM): W is the sean hayes of consonants
bibliophile (5:06:03 PM): hahaha
DJ (5:06:03 PM): and H is the tom cruise
DJ (5:06:57 PM): and X is the morgan freeman
DJ (5:07:22 PM): because even though few words begin with X, those that do usually get pronounced like "exavier"
bibliophile (5:08:05 PM): hm
bibliophile (5:08:10 PM): what letter is samuel l jackson?
DJ (5:08:23 PM): R
DJ (5:08:29 PM): i think we both know why.
DJ (5:08:44 PM): or maybe K
bibliophile (5:10:27 PM): i'm not satisfied with either of those
DJ (5:10:48 PM): hmmmm
DJ (5:10:57 PM): i was trying to allude to a gigantic wiener
DJ (5:11:05 PM): those the the only letters with danglies
bibliophile (5:11:13 PM): what about J
DJ (5:11:16 PM): hmmmm
bibliophile (5:11:18 PM): it's all dangly
DJ (5:11:24 PM): nah hits too close to home, it's half my name
bibliophile (5:11:39 PM): what's your middle name?
DJ (5:12:12 PM): jacob
DJ (5:12:26 PM): i was named after my frenchie grandpa, jacques
DJ (5:12:32 PM): who was actually dutch
DJ (5:12:40 PM): but he was still a frenchie
DJ (5:12:57 PM): the daniel came from the dan in rocky raccoon
bibliophile (5:13:10 PM): seriously?
DJ (5:13:28 PM): yep
DJ(5:13:35 PM): my dad thought it sounded badass
DJ (5:13:39 PM): and he was partially right

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