Conversations with DJ, the third

Me (5:18:19 PM): should i drink a hard cider or a pale ale?

d J (5:18:43 PM): hmm

d J (5:18:48 PM): hows that ole sea shanty go?

d J (5:18:57 PM): cider before ale, barf in a pail

d J (5:19:05 PM): ale before cider, legs open wider

d J (5:19:11 PM): do you want to vomit or be date raped?

Me (5:19:18 PM): can i have both?

Why New Jersey is, in fact, inferior to the rest of the country

from Gothamist

Do Not Drink the Tiki Torch Oil!

Five NJ residents have been hospitalized and one has died after drinking oil used to light tiki torches. Apparently the victims from Burlington and Bergen Counties, many believed they were drinking apple juice, but it's actually a kerosene-like substance (one victim was an 8-year-old girl who now has permanent lung damage; another person "person mistook the oil for bottled water and tried to make coffee, but didn't get sick"). The NJ Poison Information and Education System executive director Steve Marcus says, "During my 40 years in medicine, you get an occasional kid who ingests kerosene, but I have never seen this kind of cluster." The product is Tiki Torch Fuel from Lamplight Farms Inc."