[A bit of free writing from my journal, just a few hours old]
It is my second day back in New York, but it almost feels like I never left. Of course, time went on in New York in my absence, but it still feels like nothing has changed but me. Being on the morning rush hour train didn't feel quite as crowded or dirty as it used to. I feel quite underwhelmed by this city now, and I miss Dharamsala with every atom. I had lunch with Andy this afternoon and he said he's never seen me looking so great, that my aura has been revitalized. I went to the Rubin Museum after lunch and walked around, saw statues and thangkas and other artifacts. It was a small comfort, but not too impressive after having been in India and seeing what the temples had on display. Right now I'm sitting at the flagpole in Union Square killing time until I can pick up my photos I had developed this morning. I've never felt so heartsick in all my life. There is a heaviness weighin on my chest that is beyond my capacity to express. I can try to explain to my friends how I feel, but I think they're probably mostly baffled by it. I feel like I've abandoned a lover. I'm not interested in anyone or anything I see. Everything here seems so vapid; the merchandise, the fashion, the conversation. And I ran into Michael at the Bean this morning. I was telling him how amazing the trip was and how much I loved it; he said he would have to put the pressure on so I get my senior work done. It didn't seem like the right time to tell him I no longer want him to be my advisor. But if I intend to pursue graduate work in Tibetan studies, and I do, then it seems like a waste of time to write about anything else. So I'm going to do what I have to do and hopefully the school will cooperate with me. I also briefly mentioned to Grandma my intention to move to Dharamsala once I finish college, and she said how she thinks I should do Birth Right before I get too old to. It was kind of random, but even if I spend a year in Dharamsala I'll still have enough time afterwards to still do Birth Right. I am so drained right now, physically and emotionally. The time difference is kicking my ass. It's already 3:30 am in India, and my body feels it, too. I really just want to go back to the apartment and rest, but I have to wait another hour for my photos. I could wait until tomorrow but I'm already here and one more hour won't kill me, though I really wish I could go somewhere to lie down. But if I did, I would run the risk of falling asleep for hours. My ass is numb from sitting on this stone and I'm so tired of sitting in cafes and paying too much for tea just because I want somewhere to sit for an hour or two, but I'm too tired to walk around, and browsing in stores seems pointless. I have nothing else to do but just wait. Interestingly enough, without even noticing, I sat directly on top of the Indiana stone around the flagpole. I miss Tibetans.
I am in a fucking bardo state. I just want to go back to where I feel at home!
Showing posts with label india. Show all posts
Showing posts with label india. Show all posts
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Regretfully Yours,
Owing to sporadic access to the internet and a very inflexible schedule of class, study, and excursions, I will be refraining from further updates until I return from India. I will transcribe my journal entries and post photos when I get back to New York. For now, I will let your imagination fill in the gaps.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Mystery Tour
Today's events (times are approximate):
5:30am: Dawn/awaking
7:30am: Breakfast
9-11am: Bus ride to Old Delhi and tour of the Red Fort
11:30am: Attempted visit to the largest mosque in India before afternoon services, only to discover that it was closed to non-Muslims owing to the death of the former Imam.
A huge flock of large black birds was circling over the mosque. Eerie.
11:45am: Lunch for meat eaters at Karim's (famous) Moghul restaurant. Mutton kebab, mutton byriani, mutton curry shared by the four carnivores in our group.
The mutton was most certainly freshly slaughtered, probably locally acquired from one of the many streets lined with idle sheep tied to walls. The vegetarians had paneer, vegetable curry, daal, and we all shared rice and butter naan. The naan continues to be the best I've ever had in my life.
12:30-2pm: Attempt to find tea stall down an alley only to find it closed. Pestered by beggar child. While my back was turned to him I heard a loud smack, but ignored it thinking the boy had (for whatever inexplicable reason) clapped his hands to get us to pay attention to him. As it turns out, a nearby man had smacked him upside the head for harrassing us. He walked off for a little while but hung around near us, then when we walked away he continued to follow us. While we were standing at the mouth of the alley, he kept putting his hand out saying, "Please money, please money" in the most pitifully obnoxious way. I simply ignored him, while our professor told him no and to go away in Hindi. Then we were again split into two groups and received two envelopes each with pieces of paper on which were written new locations in Hindi for us to find. The first was another Sikh temple, though smaller than the one from the day before. To get there we had to walk down this dirt road, which was lined on both sides with tarps under which sat appallingly impoverished people. This teeny tiny little boy wearing all yellow and wearing the white cap of Islam started talking to and strutting down the street with us. He was probably 4 or 5, but was completely alone just running at the mouth saying who knows what. Eventually we reached a main road at the end of the winding parade of severe poverty. We got further directions and walked down this sidewalk lined with stalls while we were harrassed by merchants trying to lure us into their store. Finally we reached the temple, leaving our shoes outside, stepping in the water before crossing the threshhold, then pulling our scarves over our heads. Then we sat in the main room for a while and enjoyed the men singing and playing music, watching worshippers pay their respects. Afterwards we asked directions to the next location, which turned out to be a Jain temple we had seen earlier from across the street at the Red Fort.
We again checked our shoes outside the entrance, then went in the gate. Unlike the Sikh temple, the grounds were disgusting. Dirty and covered in pigeon shit. We tried to get inside to the temple but it turned out they were hosing it down and the gates up into it were closed. It was so filthy outside we left after about 5 minutes. We put our shoes on, tipped the attendant 10 rupees, then got in a tuktuk and went back to the hotel. On the road we passed a shanty town with naked children sleeping on dirty blankets outside of shacks while older children and adults either sat around or walked between shacks in dirty clothes. We also passed a rickshaw stable full of horses and donkeys. When we got back to the hotel, we retired to our respective rooms.
2pm-3pm: watched BBC World News/Discovery Channel
3pm-4pm: napped
4pm: wake up call
5:40pm: woke up to my teacher calling to ask if I'd be joining the group to discuss our discoveries from earlier, having fallen right back to sleep after receiving my wake up call.
5:40-6:30pm: discussion
6:45pm-8pm: dinner at Kwality Restaurant, typical North Indian cuisine. I got to hold my professors' baby, Isabella. She really liked me. Enough so that her father got slightly jealous when Bella's mother said, she likes you because you're nice and fun. He said, "I'm nice and fun."
8pm-12:30am: walked back to the hotel, said goodnight to our teachers, then hung out in one of our rooms, smoking, talking, and then ordered Benson and Hedges, Kingfisher, and hot milk to satisfy the various cravings of the five of us. Group bonding, yay.
Tomorrow we are taking a tour in the morning of New Delhi, then after lunch we have the afternoon free to roam about and go shopping for handicrafts and souvenirs.
5:30am: Dawn/awaking
7:30am: Breakfast
9-11am: Bus ride to Old Delhi and tour of the Red Fort
11:30am: Attempted visit to the largest mosque in India before afternoon services, only to discover that it was closed to non-Muslims owing to the death of the former Imam.
A huge flock of large black birds was circling over the mosque. Eerie.11:45am: Lunch for meat eaters at Karim's (famous) Moghul restaurant. Mutton kebab, mutton byriani, mutton curry shared by the four carnivores in our group.
The mutton was most certainly freshly slaughtered, probably locally acquired from one of the many streets lined with idle sheep tied to walls. The vegetarians had paneer, vegetable curry, daal, and we all shared rice and butter naan. The naan continues to be the best I've ever had in my life.12:30-2pm: Attempt to find tea stall down an alley only to find it closed. Pestered by beggar child. While my back was turned to him I heard a loud smack, but ignored it thinking the boy had (for whatever inexplicable reason) clapped his hands to get us to pay attention to him. As it turns out, a nearby man had smacked him upside the head for harrassing us. He walked off for a little while but hung around near us, then when we walked away he continued to follow us. While we were standing at the mouth of the alley, he kept putting his hand out saying, "Please money, please money" in the most pitifully obnoxious way. I simply ignored him, while our professor told him no and to go away in Hindi. Then we were again split into two groups and received two envelopes each with pieces of paper on which were written new locations in Hindi for us to find. The first was another Sikh temple, though smaller than the one from the day before. To get there we had to walk down this dirt road, which was lined on both sides with tarps under which sat appallingly impoverished people. This teeny tiny little boy wearing all yellow and wearing the white cap of Islam started talking to and strutting down the street with us. He was probably 4 or 5, but was completely alone just running at the mouth saying who knows what. Eventually we reached a main road at the end of the winding parade of severe poverty. We got further directions and walked down this sidewalk lined with stalls while we were harrassed by merchants trying to lure us into their store. Finally we reached the temple, leaving our shoes outside, stepping in the water before crossing the threshhold, then pulling our scarves over our heads. Then we sat in the main room for a while and enjoyed the men singing and playing music, watching worshippers pay their respects. Afterwards we asked directions to the next location, which turned out to be a Jain temple we had seen earlier from across the street at the Red Fort.
We again checked our shoes outside the entrance, then went in the gate. Unlike the Sikh temple, the grounds were disgusting. Dirty and covered in pigeon shit. We tried to get inside to the temple but it turned out they were hosing it down and the gates up into it were closed. It was so filthy outside we left after about 5 minutes. We put our shoes on, tipped the attendant 10 rupees, then got in a tuktuk and went back to the hotel. On the road we passed a shanty town with naked children sleeping on dirty blankets outside of shacks while older children and adults either sat around or walked between shacks in dirty clothes. We also passed a rickshaw stable full of horses and donkeys. When we got back to the hotel, we retired to our respective rooms.2pm-3pm: watched BBC World News/Discovery Channel
3pm-4pm: napped
4pm: wake up call
5:40pm: woke up to my teacher calling to ask if I'd be joining the group to discuss our discoveries from earlier, having fallen right back to sleep after receiving my wake up call.
5:40-6:30pm: discussion
6:45pm-8pm: dinner at Kwality Restaurant, typical North Indian cuisine. I got to hold my professors' baby, Isabella. She really liked me. Enough so that her father got slightly jealous when Bella's mother said, she likes you because you're nice and fun. He said, "I'm nice and fun."
8pm-12:30am: walked back to the hotel, said goodnight to our teachers, then hung out in one of our rooms, smoking, talking, and then ordered Benson and Hedges, Kingfisher, and hot milk to satisfy the various cravings of the five of us. Group bonding, yay.
Tomorrow we are taking a tour in the morning of New Delhi, then after lunch we have the afternoon free to roam about and go shopping for handicrafts and souvenirs.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Delhi Meats
I arrived in Delhi last night around 9pm, but by the time I went through the Swine Flu Health Check, Immigration, Baggage Claim, and Customs, it was almost 10pm. Outside of Customs I was met by a representative from Sea and Sky Travel, the company the college has employed as our "travel liason", who led me to a cab and sent me on my way because he had to wait for the last of our group to arrive at the airport shortly following me. When I got outside, the first thing I noticed was the dust. The second thing was the full moon. Not only was it a full moon, but it was also the Dalai Lama's birthday. Auspicious timing for an arrival, to say the least.
When I arrived at the Hans Plaza Hotel in central Delhi, the incompetent concierge had no record of a reservation under my name, so the taxi driver had to call the agent from Sea and Sky to talk to the hotel and finally I was given a room key after about 15 minutes of frustration and confusion. Owing to the excitement of being in a profoundly unfamiliar environment and the 9 and a half hour time difference, I was unable to sleep right away, and so waited until my roommate arrived around 1am. After we settled in and contacted our respective relatives to inform them of our safe arrival, we visited the 24hr hotel cafe for what would be a relatively timely dinner were we in New York, but considering it was 3am in India, seemed to be a curiosity to our waiters.
We returned to our room mentally drained, but physically unaccustomed to the time difference. I was unable to sleep until after sunrise, at 5:30am. My roommate awoke around 6am and proceeded, perhaps out of restlessness, to get ready for the day. By 6:30 the sounds of her moving around the room woke me from a bizarre dream (which are one of the common side effects of the anti-malarial I am taking) and was unable to fall back asleep. I watched BBC World News after showering and dressing while waiting until it was time to meet my teachers and fellow classmates at 9:30 for breakfast and orientation. By 12:30 we dispersed for a few minutes to freshen up before attending a group lunch at the United Coffee House. The food was outstanding, perfectly spiced and served with the best naan I think I have ever eaten. After lunch, generously paid for by the college, the five of us were split into two groups and each given the name of a different nearby destination which was written on a piece of paper in Hindi. Our task was to find a stranger and get directions to the designated location and record the sights, sounds, smells, and overall atmosphere of the place.
My partner and I got directions from several strangers then walked the 25 minutes or so to what turned out to be an enormous Sikh temple, Gurdwara Bangla Sahib, the largest Sikh temple in Delhi. First, we had to check our shoes outside the temple walls, then step into a shallow pool of water at the entrance to wash our feet. We walked barefoot around the perimeter of a huge pool where devotees were bathing, which was set in the middle of an even larger courtyard, paved with a black and white marble mosaics, red woven rugs drenched in water running the length of each side and intersecting at perpindicular angles. The enclosure was walled in by open-air corridors where some worshippers sat in groups, some lay sleeping in the shade, and others walked about. Then we went inside the temple, which was up a flight of marble stairs.
Inside there were small groups of people prostrating in front of a room with large glass windows revealing what appeared to be some kind of shrine covered in brightly colored embroidered cloths, and touching the doorway with their hands and foreheads as a means of obtaining blessings. We went upstairs and walked around a balcony overlooking the main room where more small groups of people were scattered around on a bright red and orange patterned carpeted floor around a platform mounted by several seated musicians. They were singing what we assumed to be prayers, seated on cushions around another altar draped in heavy embroidered cloths, the whole space marked off by a golden railing. We walked around inside for a little while longer, taking photos and observing the worshipers, then trickled outside with the crowds, and walked around a large flagpole draped in orange fabric where people once again were touching with their fingertips and foreheads. Finally, after walking around the fourth side of the pool, we sat for a period in the shade of the open-air corridor. After a few minutes, a teeny little India woman wearing a white sari and a kind smile approached me and started speaking to me in Hindi. I hadn't the vaguest idea what she was saying, so I just kept saying, "I don't understand", "I only speak English", and shake my head and shrugging my shoulders in what I could only assume was the international sign for, "I don't understand". Eventually she wandered off, and my companion and I laughed off our confusion and decided it was probably time to go.
At the threshold to the temple we washed our feet again, traded our little tin coin in for our shoes, and
once we had them on got in a tuktuk, a little three wheel motorized rickshaw which looks as precarious as it feels. We rode it back to the hotel for 50 rupees (about $1) and had the pleasure of being pestered by beggars at every red light. We just ignored them until they either went away or the light changed, whichever happened first, and neither of which ever happened fast enough.
After about an hour's rest, the whole group met for masala tea( which is probably the most delicious drink I have ever had) in the hotel cafe to reveal the mystery locations we discovered and our experiences and reactions to them, followed by a dinner of South India dosas at the Banana Leaf. The sun set while we were at dinner, and as we rounded the corner onto Barakhamba road, a huge, low-hanging yellow full moon appeared in the dusty sky and escorted us back to the hotel.
I am presently back in my hotel, enjoying some black tea with milk before assing out for the night. I will hopefully be able to sleep through most of the night, considering I haven't really slept since my last night in New York, not counting the ambien-induced spell of unconsciousness I had on the flight here.
Tomorrow we are taking a tour all morning of Old Delhi followed by another "special project" involving the locating of a mystery landmark.
When I arrived at the Hans Plaza Hotel in central Delhi, the incompetent concierge had no record of a reservation under my name, so the taxi driver had to call the agent from Sea and Sky to talk to the hotel and finally I was given a room key after about 15 minutes of frustration and confusion. Owing to the excitement of being in a profoundly unfamiliar environment and the 9 and a half hour time difference, I was unable to sleep right away, and so waited until my roommate arrived around 1am. After we settled in and contacted our respective relatives to inform them of our safe arrival, we visited the 24hr hotel cafe for what would be a relatively timely dinner were we in New York, but considering it was 3am in India, seemed to be a curiosity to our waiters.
We returned to our room mentally drained, but physically unaccustomed to the time difference. I was unable to sleep until after sunrise, at 5:30am. My roommate awoke around 6am and proceeded, perhaps out of restlessness, to get ready for the day. By 6:30 the sounds of her moving around the room woke me from a bizarre dream (which are one of the common side effects of the anti-malarial I am taking) and was unable to fall back asleep. I watched BBC World News after showering and dressing while waiting until it was time to meet my teachers and fellow classmates at 9:30 for breakfast and orientation. By 12:30 we dispersed for a few minutes to freshen up before attending a group lunch at the United Coffee House. The food was outstanding, perfectly spiced and served with the best naan I think I have ever eaten. After lunch, generously paid for by the college, the five of us were split into two groups and each given the name of a different nearby destination which was written on a piece of paper in Hindi. Our task was to find a stranger and get directions to the designated location and record the sights, sounds, smells, and overall atmosphere of the place.
My partner and I got directions from several strangers then walked the 25 minutes or so to what turned out to be an enormous Sikh temple, Gurdwara Bangla Sahib, the largest Sikh temple in Delhi. First, we had to check our shoes outside the temple walls, then step into a shallow pool of water at the entrance to wash our feet. We walked barefoot around the perimeter of a huge pool where devotees were bathing, which was set in the middle of an even larger courtyard, paved with a black and white marble mosaics, red woven rugs drenched in water running the length of each side and intersecting at perpindicular angles. The enclosure was walled in by open-air corridors where some worshippers sat in groups, some lay sleeping in the shade, and others walked about. Then we went inside the temple, which was up a flight of marble stairs.
Inside there were small groups of people prostrating in front of a room with large glass windows revealing what appeared to be some kind of shrine covered in brightly colored embroidered cloths, and touching the doorway with their hands and foreheads as a means of obtaining blessings. We went upstairs and walked around a balcony overlooking the main room where more small groups of people were scattered around on a bright red and orange patterned carpeted floor around a platform mounted by several seated musicians. They were singing what we assumed to be prayers, seated on cushions around another altar draped in heavy embroidered cloths, the whole space marked off by a golden railing. We walked around inside for a little while longer, taking photos and observing the worshipers, then trickled outside with the crowds, and walked around a large flagpole draped in orange fabric where people once again were touching with their fingertips and foreheads. Finally, after walking around the fourth side of the pool, we sat for a period in the shade of the open-air corridor. After a few minutes, a teeny little India woman wearing a white sari and a kind smile approached me and started speaking to me in Hindi. I hadn't the vaguest idea what she was saying, so I just kept saying, "I don't understand", "I only speak English", and shake my head and shrugging my shoulders in what I could only assume was the international sign for, "I don't understand". Eventually she wandered off, and my companion and I laughed off our confusion and decided it was probably time to go.
At the threshold to the temple we washed our feet again, traded our little tin coin in for our shoes, and
once we had them on got in a tuktuk, a little three wheel motorized rickshaw which looks as precarious as it feels. We rode it back to the hotel for 50 rupees (about $1) and had the pleasure of being pestered by beggars at every red light. We just ignored them until they either went away or the light changed, whichever happened first, and neither of which ever happened fast enough.After about an hour's rest, the whole group met for masala tea( which is probably the most delicious drink I have ever had) in the hotel cafe to reveal the mystery locations we discovered and our experiences and reactions to them, followed by a dinner of South India dosas at the Banana Leaf. The sun set while we were at dinner, and as we rounded the corner onto Barakhamba road, a huge, low-hanging yellow full moon appeared in the dusty sky and escorted us back to the hotel.
I am presently back in my hotel, enjoying some black tea with milk before assing out for the night. I will hopefully be able to sleep through most of the night, considering I haven't really slept since my last night in New York, not counting the ambien-induced spell of unconsciousness I had on the flight here.
Tomorrow we are taking a tour all morning of Old Delhi followed by another "special project" involving the locating of a mystery landmark.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Just a matter of time, now...
I got my Indian visa today. I am astounded by how quickly it was processed. Apparently getting a tourist visa is as simple as applying, no questions asked. I suppose it might not have been so easy had I not been applying from a Western country, but I guess those are the breaks. I'm not fretting nearly as much now. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday to get a tetanus booster and prescription for malaria pills. That's the only other formality before my trip. Everything else is finishing my readings, accumulating supplies and gear, and moving out of my apartment. I'm not really looking forward to the last thing, but I'll probably just sell as many of my books as I can bear to part with, and my bed. I don't really have anything else besides clothes, posters, and bags full of photo prints.
I'm going to India a week from Sunday!!!
I'm going to India a week from Sunday!!!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Universal Cooperation
So, I've been bugging out lately. I'm behind on getting my visa for India secured. I also flew off the handle for a couple weeks at the beginning of the month and have overspent my preparation funds and now must humble myself and go running to the family with my tail between my legs asking for a few hundred dollars loan so I don't have to buy everything at the last minute, including paying for my immunizations. But I'm not particularly fretful. I know I can pull it together. I stopped binge drinking, and have been in communication with the study abroad coordinator, and she isn't impressing me with a sense of panic, so time, though short, is not up.
On that note, I'll be in India two weeks from today. Well, tonight. My flight leaves New York approximately 8:30 in the evening on July 5th and arrives in New Delhi approximately the same time on July 6th. I've been doing my homework for the trip, reading the assigned books. The first was the autobiography of the Dalai Lama, Freedom in Exile. The second, and more factually informative, is In Exile from the Land of Snows by John Avedon. It is enthralling despite it's density, and is putting the idea in my head of changing my thesis topic to something relevant to Tibetan studies. It makes sense, actually. Not only will I be studying very closely with my professors on this trip, but I will be interviewing Tibetans and submitting a final project at its conclusion, all of which can be tailored into a new thesis proposal, which I will have to submit at the conclusion of the summer. Plus, I am so fucking over my current thesis advisor that I no longer have any desire to work with him. So, establishing a strong relationship with my professor while I'm in India could hopefully lead to him agreeing to be my advisor in the Fall.
That's about it as far as the mundane happenings of my life presently. I have been jotting down some short creative pieces that will be forthcoming shortly.
On that note, I'll be in India two weeks from today. Well, tonight. My flight leaves New York approximately 8:30 in the evening on July 5th and arrives in New Delhi approximately the same time on July 6th. I've been doing my homework for the trip, reading the assigned books. The first was the autobiography of the Dalai Lama, Freedom in Exile. The second, and more factually informative, is In Exile from the Land of Snows by John Avedon. It is enthralling despite it's density, and is putting the idea in my head of changing my thesis topic to something relevant to Tibetan studies. It makes sense, actually. Not only will I be studying very closely with my professors on this trip, but I will be interviewing Tibetans and submitting a final project at its conclusion, all of which can be tailored into a new thesis proposal, which I will have to submit at the conclusion of the summer. Plus, I am so fucking over my current thesis advisor that I no longer have any desire to work with him. So, establishing a strong relationship with my professor while I'm in India could hopefully lead to him agreeing to be my advisor in the Fall.
That's about it as far as the mundane happenings of my life presently. I have been jotting down some short creative pieces that will be forthcoming shortly.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Meet me on the rooftop of the world
I will be spending four weeks here (Dharamsala, India) this summer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)