I guess I'm, like, old now?

Birthday: the Twenty Third Installment









[All Photos by Luisa Opalesky]

Belated Travel Diaries--Indianapolis to Helsinki (Installment 1)

Last week I returned from a 5 day vacation in LA where I visited my oldest brother. The last time I had flown out of New York to a city besides Indianapolis was two years ago when I traveled to Scandinavia for 12 days with my grandmother. The trip was a reward for making Dean's List both semesters my second (and last) year at Hofstra University of Long Island. It was my last year because I had applied to transfer to Eugene Lang College in the city. At the time of our departure in late June, I had yet to receive any word from Lang about my acceptance, though I was certain it was in the bag. However, the uncertainty was in the back of my mind as my grandmother and I flew from Indianapolis to JFK for our connecting flight to Helsinki. Also on my mind was the fact that my grandmother had booked the trip through a tour group organization and consequently I would be the youngest in the bunch by, oh, say, 30 or 40 years. I really didn't know what to expect.

Since I returned from LA, I've been thinking about my past travels. I dug out the journal that I kept during the time of the trip and began rereading my entries. I had only written one thing in the blank, black, leather-bound book before leaving Indianapolis. I may have written it while I was packing, but I don't remember.

"I measure my travels by the soles I've worn thin. Under my bed, hidden in boxes, are souvenirs of those places whose streets I've tread. In time I'm sure I'll let them go, but until I have other rubber thin and smooth from wear, I'll keep them with me. Unlike other articles from my past, these still fit no matter how much I grow. From day to day to day."

June 21, 2006
I am currently in the air over Massachusetts or Connecticut. Already I am suffering separation anxiety. Not for Indianapolis, of course, but rather for New York. I didn't so much as step foot in Manhattan, but catching glimpses of the skyline from the Airtrain and during takeoff exhilarated and devastated me. I joked with Grandma that she could just leave me in New York and pick me up on the way home. Sitting in the plane, looking out across the tarmac at the skyline, I couldn't help but think, "This is the city that I love." When we flew over Long Island, I tried looking for Hofstra, but I think I was on the wrong side of the plane. I'm always on the wrong side.

This whole experience doesn't feel real yet, though I've been traveling all day. As soon as we landed in New York I began to feel like myself again. I could not be more grateful or relieved to have escaped the Midwest for the time being. An oppressive weight has been lifted from my spirit. I expect this will be one of the most extraordinary experiences of my life thus far. I imagine the reality of it won't sink in for a few more days. I wasn't even totally acclimated to Indianapolis when we left. But I do enjoy not being tied down to any one particularly spot.

[For those of you who've read some of my other entries, you'll recognize this theme of not wanting to be tied down. My frequent moves in Manhattan and Brooklyn, the utter despair that descends like a fog when I end up in some city or town where I can't get around on foot and end up stranded and restless, forfeiting my self-reliance to whomever takes it upon his or herself to chauffeur me around. What misery.]

June 24, 2006
5:05 AM
We arrived yesterday to our hotel in Helsinki, around 11 or 12 in the afternoon. Grandma and I took a walk around the streets surrounding the hotel. There was an abundance of hair salons, and we found an optometrist where I could finally have the arm screwed back onto my glasses. While we waited, we explored the Kaampi Center, which is simply a multilevel mall on top of a bus station. While I was there I was excited to hear "One Hit" by the Knife playing in one of the stores. Afterwards we returned to the hotel to nap before dinner, despite our tour leader's suggestion to avoid naps in order to adjust to the time difference. Dinner came after a "welcome drink" where everyone had to introduce themselves to the group. Consistent with my expectations, everyone save for myself was of the AARP crowd.

After dinner we returned to our room where I promptly fell asleep, only to awake at 2AM. Despite all efforts I could not fall back asleep. Grandma also woke up, and thought turning on the TV was a good idea. I chose to read, making it through 50 or so pages of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. After a couple of hours I tried sleeping again, but because Grandma insisted on leaving the TV on so she could sleep, it was a pointless effort; noise and light are keeping me awake.

Today we had breakfast at 7, an information briefing at 8:30, then left for a bus tour of the city at 9:45. We rode through the city down to the Gulf of the Baltic Sea then stopped at an old Lutheran Church built out of a natural granite structure. There was a beautiful organ and humid interior was filled with the smell of wet stone. I took a lot of photos and bought some postcards for those friends I promised to write.

After we boarded the bus again, we drove around, cruising past more sights, stopped for 10 minutes to see a monument erected to Finland's most famous composer (named _________) then we found ourselves passing by the Olympic Stadium. We stopped one last time for a photo-op of a beautiful and elaborate Lutheran Church in Senate Square, in the center of which was erected a statue of Czar Alexander. Finally we were dropped off at Market Square to browse the stalls for 45 or so minutes until it closed at 1pm. We walked from there to the Esplanande and window shopped all the boutiques which comprise the design district. As the afternoon waned, I successfully navigated me and Grandma back to the hotel despite her second-guessing every move I made.

Because today was Midsummer's Eve, which is a big holiday here in Helsinki, everything was closed except McDonald's, so we had a late lunch there. Because of the currency exchange rate, not only was it the worst McDonald's I've ever eaten, it was likewise the most expensive, with a value meal costing 12-15 USD. After our meal I napped off my stomach ache for a few hours before we left for the Midsummer's Eve Bonfire Festival on the island of Seursari. We spent a couple hours meandering around, ate some peculiar items such as a potato dog, which was essentially a hot dog wrapped in has browns, and also meatballs and little potato balls. None of it was particularly good but in the spirit of new experiences I tried it. I spent most of my time taking pictures, and have already started on my second roll of film.

Tomorrow morning we are on our own, then in the afternoon we leave by plane for Copenhagen. While Helsinki has been different, it has not been particularly exciting, perhaps because it has been a holiday weekend the whole time we've spent here. I am looking forward to the next stop, and I'm glad we only spend a couple days in each place.

government warning

This morning I woke up to Katie yelling in my window. I was dreaming deeply of generous vending machines, Professor Arturo, empowering the oppressed with Marx, and ripping pages from their bindings. I spent four hours eliminating duplicate albums and tracks from my iTunes library. Then Katie and John went out, and I fidgeted around and tried to find someone to hang out, but I didn't really want to hang out with anyone if it meant spending money. By 7:20 I hadn't thought of anything to do except eat and watch more American Dad! Fortunately, that's when John returned with his bandmates to practice in our living room. I ate my veggie burger, read the first paragraph of an article in SEED then realized I'd already read it. Once I'd done that, I drew for a little while on the back of my letter exercises as step 3 of applying for this intership/research assistant position with Helen Whitney. I'm not getting my hopes up about it so I won't be disappointed if I don't get it. I know I'm very qualified, and I have Katherine's referral working in my favor, but I'm not sure if I'm the right person for the job. For one, I got the impression I was the only undergrad among the applicants, and that my obligations come fall might make me less desirable than someone who has long term availability. Whatever. I won't know anything until Helen returns from Germany next week. Because I spent so much time cleaning up my music library today I decided to start work on the playlist for the party Saturday. It's going to be my last party until Andy and I move in together in August. I spoke with Dad today and he might drive out here to help with the move. I think Andy and I will manage even if he can't. I don't have that much stuff and I can't imagine Andy having much if he's flying from California. As much fun as I have had in this apartment, I am ready to move out. I've realized in the last month or so, as the move out date has drawn near, that I am only comfortable living one place for about six months. A lot of that has to do with how difficult it has been to find a place that fits me. I've never really lived in a place that was completely my own, that I furnished, arranged, and decorated. Perhaps things would have been different here if I'd had a real bed rather than a loft.

I lie down like a tired dog, licking his wounds in the shade.

I bought color film for my camera the other day. I asked for a film with a deep saturated color, and I'm excited to see how my first roll turns out. Unlike black and white, which taught me how to see in shades, since I bought this color film, I have started seeing things in hues. I now have the full spectrum (of visible color) at my availability, and now that it's nearly summer and the sun will be at it's more intense and colors will be at their most brilliant. I am excited to try this something new.