bl[oo]ad[e]

I rediscovered how invigorating physical pain can be,
and how, when emotions are longed for but won't come,
an arrow of cuts pointing the way can open the flood gates,
and perhaps I'll sleep soundly tonight,
the sting of fresh wounds quietly calling out to me from under the covers.

encounter #2

Ah,

I see you glancing,

Out of the corner of your eye.

You
are
filling someone else's
space
while your eyes,
your eyes
trace my contours

Up, down,
up, down.

I see you.

I'm watching as well.

Seven Eleven Oh Eight

My head is reeling

I savor pomegranate kisses
From Hades mounted
Rearing and riding forth
From the mouth of a shadow land

These days I hardly recognize myself.

Startling moments of clarity that feel like

waking into someone else's life

And yet
Each day I awake
In my own skin
Brimming with hollow memories
Of a person transforming

Recollections of someone I'll never be again

I nearly missed my stop.


(As I walked home from the train, in one hand I held a cigarette, and with the other I scribbled on my left arm, wallowing in joy

"I thank the universe I'm alive".)

4 snapshots

1
I descend
A thick cloud of balmy dirt rises to engulf me
Sweat rains from my temples
Running off into the niche where my earlobe licks my jaw
Rivulets of several days accumulated filth
Sediment carving canals along the length of my throat

2
A passing train stirs up a ripple of cool air
Particles of pollution gather on my brow
I cannot escape the immediacy of
My physical experience
In such extremes
The pressure of the sun will not relent
Even with the fall of darkness

3
I attempt to knit together half-finished thoughts
To no avail
I unravel
I bind my psyche together with haphazard knots
Never meant to hold in the first place
I am slipping
Through my own fingers

4
Into this fold of fetid summer air
My complexion grows ruddy
Stained by loose dirt and debris

Swooning Swans Swept Away on the Seas

My eyes were the size of the skies.

Green and clean and mirrors of mine so we see,

I slipped through the floor in a gold and white fold.

Silhouettes of sea sounds

flitted forth from your face,

and your smile drew dunes 'cross sunned skin.

The size of my eyes was too wide,

and your gaze fell away from my play.

Still, from my sill, in the sumptuous rain,

the green of my dream swayed and danced until dawn.

The next day on my way from the train,

I cast free from my thought,

the illusion of fusion of minds.

I dared my desires desert me,

cast away such fantastical flights.

A day or two spent, and I willfully went,

but dared not hope perchance we might pass.

When the day's work was done,

to a bed of brown eyes I spoke of vast skies,

revelations and astral designs.

But in those bulbs of dark brown,

not a glimpse to be found,

of that glimmering green of the sand and the sea.

No sooner had passed this desire so dreaded,

than I did dismiss it as folly.

No sooner dismissed,

through the window I glimpsed

your figure, passing in stride.

Shocked as I was, no matter,

because... my willful unwilling had won.

Let me will you away,

so I meet you some day,

when all that remains are the memory stains,

of those eyes, emerald stars,

swallowed up by the sands of my dreams.